"Overdue"

Today is May 19th = 1 day after May 18th = uncharted territory when it comes to my baby countdown. I know that due dates are only estimates but there is such a stigma for going past your date that I never understood before. People look at you like there must be something wrong with you or the baby or they give you looks of pity or they have a million questions about how on earth you could have NOT given birth by this point.

In actuality I am feeling fine (considering), my blood pressure is low, baby's heartbeat is strong, she is content and moving around consistently, and obviously she is just not quite ready to come out yet. And it's only 1 day past my due date - not unusual people! Especially for a first-time mom.

So we try to relax and wait. We've been waiting ~281 days so far, so what's a few more at this point, right? I went through some minor nesting last night, organizing her clothes more than they probably need to be, and verifying the contents of our hospital bags. I also went for 3 separate walks and had a massage. Then I finished my thank-you notes, just in case my baby is extremely polite and wasn't planning on coming out until I've properly thanked everyone who has given us baby gifts to this point. Tonight I plan on doing nothing and see if that works instead.

What I'll miss about being pregnant

Let me start out by saying that I am SO fricking uncomfortable right now. I am pretty sure the baby "dropped" a couple days ago because everything has felt different to me. I feel like I'm carrying her in a sling between my legs. She is so heavy. Whenever I get up into a standing position after sitting or laying for a prolonged amount of time it is difficult to figure out how to walk for the first few steps. Today I am wearing a dress and while usually dresses are the most comfortable option while preggo, today I am noticing that without a waistband the baby just kind of slumps into my lap. It all feels strange and since it's kind of putting me in a bitchy mood I decided to redirect those negative thoughts into a post about the good things about being pregnant - so that I can refer back someday and maybe consider doing this again.

• Guilt-free eating: Aaron may disagree with me on this one, but I don't think I've been completely irresponsible as an eater while pregnant. Yes, I have been eating A LOT more sweets than I normally would (I blame my preggo sweet tooth) but I have also been trying to balance with more fruits/veggies/milk than I would normally consume. But the part I just LOVE about being pregnant is that as long as I'm eating enough healthy stuff I really don't mind reaching for that extra cookie, or stopping to pick up chocolate donuts just because I want them.
• Not buttoning my pants: I think I've been in full-on maternity clothing since about late November. It was a really nice perk during the holiday season, especially since this was during my second-trimester out-of-control-endless appetite. I could really shovel it in at Thanksgiving and Christmas thanks to my stretchy waistband.
• Break from household chores: This has been especially true the last several weeks. At first I had a lot of guilt over not pitching in to do my share around the house, but just the other night Aaron was deep-cleaning the basement and I laid on the couch with my nook book and just read and let go of all those guilty feelings. After all, he does not have to give birth and I do. That should make up for everything.
• Baby showers: I've had three of these so far and we are having a fourth after the baby is born. It is fun to be with close friends and family all for the sole purpose of celebrating this new life we are about to bring into the world. Also, baby showers are WAY more fun than wedding showers, especially when you're expecting a girl. Love those miniature dresses and super cute little ruffly clothes.
• General shared excitement from others: I've noticed this especially from other people who are already parents. It's especially fun to hear men that I work with gush about how much they love their kids and how amazing it is going to be for us to experience that joy.
• Feeling the baby move: Even though this has become particularly uncomfortable lately, I am trying to enjoy the movement because everyone I talk to says they miss those feelings when the baby is on the outside. I'll keep reminding myself of this when she rotates her butt around to sit directly on a nerve under my rib.

And of course the thing I'm most looking forward to about being un-pregnant (besides meeting my daughter of course) - maternity leave in the summer! I can't wait for this special time where my normal routine is cast aside and my sole focus is on spending time with my baby. When else do you get to take off this much work for such an amazing reason?

13 days and counting...dr appt tomorrow morning. Here's hoping she tells me I'm 4 cm dilated and fully effaced!

Tick tock...

I will be 38 weeks tomorrow. We are within striking distance of meeting our first-born child. We are so excited we can hardly stand it. These last few weeks have been tricky for me. I am trying to relax into the end of my pregnancy, knowing just how amazing it is going to be to hold my daughter for the very first time. But at the same time there is SO much to do. I'm trying not to obsess over any small details, because surely no matter what we do to prepare there will ALWAYS be more that we could do. I am trying to shift my focus to the mental, emotional and spiritual preparation.

I try to take several opportunities every day to just quietly rest my hands on my belly and send some positive thoughts to the little baby inside me. I often look into her furnished room, all the tiny clothes in her dresser, her diapers stacked and waiting, envisioning me holding her as we rock in the glider. I am trying to be more mindful than ever during my yoga classes, forging a deep spiritual connection with this little one as we stretch and move together. We will only be one for a short time longer so I am trying to hold onto these moments because the baby and I are truly experiencing our own miracle. Only she and I will ever know what it was like to be one with each other.

Deep breathing, baths, exercise and meditation will be my support these next days and weeks. What a monumental time for me and Aaron! Looking forward to soaking it all in.