I am one month from D-Day today. I have this strong intuition that the baby is going to come early, but one of my prenatal yoga instructors said the other day that 99% of first-time moms feel the same way and it doesn't happen. So I'll try to put that out of my mind and just let her come whenever she wants. But my brain is definitely fixed on the "any day now" mantra...
As we get ready for baby, I get more and more excited to meet her, hold her, kiss her, and love her. But at the same time I am sad to lose the lifestyle that Aaron and I have grown accustomed to - just the two of us. I think about it every day. I am married to my best friend and I will always feel so fortunate for that. We click so well together and I can't imagine existence without him. We both often tell each other how we can't think of anyone we'd rather be doing anything with that that moment. We just love hanging out and absorbing life together, as a couple.
That will be gone soon with the arrival of our first baby. Of course we will still have alone time together - we have both made a strong commitment to that and to maintaining and improving our relationship through parenthood. But I know that it will never be the same, never just "what do Anne and Aaron want to do tonight"?
So - in the most positive way possible - I am taking some time to mourn the loss of that reality for us. I am trying to think of a way to celebrate our relationship while we still have just the two of us. For now I am just trying to be very conscious of every moment together and really soak it in, even if we're doing absolutely nothing but just being together.
I know that the addition of our baby girl will only make things so much better for us overall and we are so grateful to be allowed the opportunity to parent together. But I will still miss "just us".
You're going into this with a great mentality, Anne - it definitely is a "loss", even if you are gaining something amazing! I still sometimes miss my pre-kid life. I like my life better now, but the other day I was thinking seriously about what I even DID with my time before I had Annie. I could barely even remember. My sister reminded me by saying "you can just sit around all day - it's amazing" :)
ReplyDeleteI totally know what you mean. I still have those moments where I miss when it was just the two of us, before Sam. But now I find myself getting a little sad about the loss of "just the three of us" with the baby coming in August, so maybe it never ends - life just pulls us on. And even though it's forever changed, it's still good in so many ways we could never have pictured on the other side. Thinking of you in the last few weeks!
ReplyDeleteSo sweet, Anne.... :)
ReplyDeleteThinking of you!!